Why???

Sometimes I wonder why am I so stupid! I always make a decision without much thinking. Then, I'll affect others. Though those affected are not related to me in any way, still, it doesn't change the fact that I'm dumb.

I always think thoroughly before making decisions pertaining to my job. However, when it comes to my personal life, things just get screwed up so quickly, I don't even know what went wrong. I only realise my mistake after a few hrs, or worse, days. So, what I'm gonna do is I'll work extra hard in sharpening my spontaneous decision making skills. I can't live like this. Talk/think > decision > regret/remorse > feel stupid. I wonder if there are books for fix this....

I owe people so many things I can't even keep track anymore. Videos, favours, msgs, emails, etc. They just keep on coming. What's wrong??? I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm not doing things right. I always say "I'll put this aside and do something more important" or "I don't have time for this". After some time, I don't remember them anymore. Then, I feel bad. Then, I feel sick of myself. Then, people start asking again. Then, the whole cycle repeats. Curses.

I wonder how people put up with me sometimes. If I were to be on the other end (recipient of my things), I'd have gone berserk. Shit... things really are crazy.